Bhagavan, if we are in love there is a fear of losing the dear one. If we are not in love then we suffer from loneliness then why should there be relationship if it’s going to cause suffering?
You are in love precisely because you have the fear of losing it. You never value a thing if you do not have the fear of losing it. So, everything in this universe is a paradox. If there is a front, there is a back. If there is a high, then there is a low. That is how the Universe is structured. Unless you have the fear of losing your friend or your spouse or your children for some reason or the other you would not be able to love them and there is loneliness. So, you have got to love. This love is sustained by the threat that you are going to lose the person either through sickness or whatever it would be. That’s all there is to life and the beauty of life is if you could see this and inevitability of the situation; you would start accepting it and In fact, you would fall in love.
Actually, there is no problem with the given situation. The problem is you are not able to accept the “what is”. The “what is” is whatever is there at that point of time and nothing can be done about it. So, once you realize that you would accept it and when you accept it love spontaneously arises in your heart. “Cultivating a virtue” is of no use except helping you fit into society. Trying to be good, to be kind, to be generous all this would not help you in becoming awakened. Because, it is not true to you. That’s why, we often say if you are not awakened do not behave like one. If you are not a Mahatma do not behave like a Mahatma. You don’t have to compare yourself with Gandhi, Christ or a Budha. There is no need for you to feel bad about it. You are you and there is nobody else like you.
You are unique with all your jealousy, your anger, you hatred and whatever else is there. You should be able to see your own anger, your own jealousy like you see an object. That is possible when you become nonjudgmental. Then everything would remain as it is. It would not be what you think they are. Remember!!! These things are put there by the Universe. The flow of Universe has produced you. You have to go with it, Live with it, Experience it and enjoy it. An awakened person is one who is not trying to become anybody else. He is himself. The problem with you is you are trying to change. It is like trying to straighten up a dog’s tail. You will never be different. When you actually see the impossibility of change, accepting yourself and loving yourself happens. You don’t accept or love, it just happens.